Wednesday, 30 October 2019

This-City's-Makin'-A-Comeback Bingo Card

Like a lot of people, I belong to a number of neighborhood-centric Facebook groups. While the general Jamaica Plain group is broadly fine, there's also a private, invite-only group for complaining about the general day-to-day absurdity of living in newly desirable neighborhood of any increasingly-expensive city.

And that's where I discovered this glorious work of art (which, as far as I can tell after a Tin Eye search, originated from the fittingly-named Humans of Late Capitalism Facebook page):

"This-City's-Makin'-A-Comeback Bingo" — Row 1: 10 Brewpubs • Ramen, Ramen, Ramen!!! • Axe-throwing bar • Absurd rent in once-affordable places • "crazy" donut concept • $10 juice Row 2: Many empty lofts • Cupcake shop • Regional Banksy • Instagram wall • Spinning, Crossfit, & Yoga • Bar with "Whiskey" in Name Row 3: Barcade • Restaurant named (Something) & the (Something) • Tea shops • Those scooters • Chicago cows, but it's a local thing • One good food truck out of 30 Row 4: Quirky local t-shirt industry • Unaffordable boutiques • People you how good it "used to be" • Dueling Farmer's Markets • Empty apartments used for Air BnB • Vibrant kickball scene Row 5: Unused community garden • that one band/artist who made it • guys with stories about band/artist who made it • Some fucker on a unicycle • Indie radio station with cult-like following • displaced minorities Row 6: Airport that requires connection to somewhere interesting • local fat-guy food • regional influencer • robust private schools for rich white transplants • arts district • local ice cream shop with "cornbread" and "earl grey" flavors.

According to these standards, my beloved home in JP is actually in pretty good shape. Though we are the home of the original Sam Adams Brewery, we only have one other brewpub (so far). We're also (so far) safe from the axe-throwing bar trend, and at least Boston Logan is a pretty good airport. In lieu of cows, we have an albino squirrel and those god damn Brookline turkeys. But otherwise…well, shit. I'm pretty sure I am "Guy with stories about band/artist who made it."

Image via Matt Brown/Flickr