Dealing with family drama at the Thanksgiving dinner table isn't fun. So I was amused to see that a friend of mine, mixologist Jared Hirsch, was asking folks to help him name his new mixed drink — one he crafted for "when you can’t take another word out of your politically-opposed relative this Thanksgiving." I've written about Jared before, he's the co-purveyor of a line of craft cocktail syrups.
His original request:
I need help naming a cocktail. I'm designing a Hot Toddy that uses Nickel Dime Cocktail Syrups' Caged Heat and Crimson Smoke. I want to evoke escaping to the kitchen to make yourself a drink when you can't deal with your bigoted uncle. Go.
The original name he came up with: Racist Relative Remedy (which I love).
Others quickly chimed in. In total, there were 275 comments in the thread.
The suggested names were fun. Here's a few:
Family staycation
Relative Reinforcement
Toddy, Take Me Away...
Me Time
Ear Smokin' Mad
Archie Bunker Mentality
Hot Disembody
The Amway Uncle
The Oh Brother
The Factual Reply
The Quick Kitchen Getaway
No Smoke Without Fire 
Crimson Tide, or Wave
Let me get your coat
Red Hot Ambivalence
Red Hot Honey Badger
A Sticky Situation
Fire Escape
Hold that Thought
The mute button
Relative relief
Cry Uncle
Can't Relate
Only Joking
and, so many more!
Hivemind FTW!
The winning name...?
The Turkey Time Out
Recipe by Jared Hirsch, Name by Camper English
Ingredients:
Any aged spirit. Be it bourbon, rye, anejo tequila, dark rum, or Calvados. Whatever you have, really.
A lemon. From a tree.
Caged Heat cocktail syrup
Crimson Smoke cocktail syrupPreheat an earthenware mug by filling it with boiling water. Add 1.5oz of a brown spirit of your choice, the juice of half a lemon (save the other half for their next awful comment when you need a second TTO!), a tablespoon of Caged Heat, and a tablespoon of Crimson Smoke.
Stir and Enjoy!
image 1 via Adobe Stock (licensed and amusingly named "Your crazy uncle"), image 2 via Jared
