Friday, 25 May 2018

Florida Man arrested for teaching kids where babies come from... at the top of his lungs

No matter how shitty a day I've had, I can always count on Florida Man to cheer me up or at the very least, horrify me to the point that my personal problems feel like minor issues. In this episode, we find Florida Man educating the young in the miracle of human reproduction. Unfortunately, not everyone present for Florida Man's lecture enjoyed what he had to say, or how he said it. From BuzzFeed:

A Florida man was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after climbing on top of a playground full of children and yelling about where babies come from.

A police officer said Otis Dawayne Ryan, 30, climbed to the top of the playground equipment at a park in Clearwater on Sunday afternoon and began shouting at the children, telling them "babies come out of women," according to court documents.

"He then yelled, 'They come out of their pussies,'" the officer wrote in an arrest affidavit. "At that time parents were rushing to the area to remove their children."

I suppose I can see their point. This wasn't Mr. Ryan's first brush with the law. Hell, it wasn't even his first brush with the law of the day. According to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office, before holding his sex education class on top of the jungle gym, Ryan spent his morning yelling at tourists  and making lewd comments to any women who happened to pass by. Despite what a class act he is, the cops were only able to ding Ryan with one count of disorderly conduct, which carries a fine of $118. Image via Flickr, courtesy of The People Speak!